The Wild Geese & Water 04

The first question:
Osho,
Why is hugging such an incredibly effective therapeutic tool?
PS I used to think that clarity, wit, and analysis were the way, but they are all garbage alongside hugging.
Man needs to be needed. It is one of the most fundamental needs of human beings. Unless one is cared for, one starts dying. Unless one feels that he is significant to somebody, at least to somebody, his whole life becomes insignificant.
Hence love is the greatest therapy there is. The world needs therapy because the world is missing love. In a really loving world no therapy will be needed at all – love will be enough, more than enough. Hugging is only a gesture of love, of warmth, of caring. The very feel of the warmth flowing from the other person melts many illnesses in you, melts the ice-like, cold ego. It makes you a child again.
The psychologists are now well aware of the fact that unless a child is hugged, kissed, he misses some nourishment. Just as the body needs food, the soul needs love. You can give to a child all the physical needs, all the physical comforts, but if hugging is missing, the child will not grow into a wholesome being. He will remain sad somewhere deep down, uncared for, neglected, ignored. He was nursed, but he was not mothered.
It has been observed that if a child is not hugged he starts shrinking – he can even die – even though everything else has been provided for. As far as the body is concerned, every care has been taken, but no love surrounds the child. He becomes isolated, he becomes disconnected to existence.
Love is our connection, love is our very root. Just as you breathe: for the body it is absolutely essential – stop breathing and you are no more. In the same way, love is the inner breath. The soul lives by loving.
Analysis won’t do it. Wit and clarity, knowledge and scholarship won’t do it. You can know all there is to know about therapy, you can become an expert, but if you don’t know the art of love you remain only on the surface of the miracle of therapy.
The moment you start feeling for the patient, for the one who is suffering – out of a hundred cases, ninety people are suffering basically because they have not been loved. If you start feeling the patient’s need for love, and if you can fulfill the need, there will be almost a magical change in the condition of the patient.
Love is certainly the most therapeutic phenomenon. Sigmund Freud was very afraid of it, so much so that hugging was out of the question. He was not even ready to face the patient because by listening to his misery, listening to his inner nightmares, he might start feeling sympathetic. His eyes may become wet, tears may start flowing, or maybe in an unguarded moment he may take hold of the hand of the patient.
He was so afraid of any loving relationship between the therapist and the patient that he created a certain device. The patient had to lie down on a couch and the psychoanalyst had to sit behind the couch so they were not facing each other.
Remember one thing: it is by facing each other that love grows. Animals cannot grow love because they make love to each other without facing each other, so there is no friendship, no relatedness. Once they are finished with lovemaking they go their separate ways – not even saying a thank you, or good-bye, or see you soon! Animals have not been able to create friendship, family, society; for the simple reason that when they are making love they are not looking into each other’s eyes. They are not looking into each other’s face; as if their lovemaking is almost mechanical, there is no human element in it.
Man created the whole dimension of all kinds of relationships for the simple reason that he is the only animal that makes love facing the other. Then eyes start communicating, then facial expressions become a subtle language. Then the changes of mood and emotions – the joy, the ecstasy, the orgasmic glow, and intimacy grow. Intimacy needs it; it is a basic requirement.
Hence it is good to make love in light, not in darkness – at least a dim light, candlelight. Making love in darkness is just something animal in us, avoiding facing each other – a strategy to avoid.
Sigmund Freud was very afraid of love, he was afraid of his own repressed love. He was afraid that he might get into some entanglement, involvement. He wanted to be just outside, not to be involved with the person, not to become part of his interiority, not to enter deep waters, but just to remain a scientific observer – aloof, detached, cool, far away. He wanted to create psychoanalysis as if it were a science. It is not a science, and it is never going to be a science. It is an art, and it is far closer to love than to logic.
The real psychoanalyst will not avoid getting deeply into the interiority of the patient – he will take the risk. It is risky, it is going into troubled waters. You may be drowned yourself – after all, you are also human. You may get into some trouble, complexity; you may create some problems for yourself, but that risk has to be taken.
That’s why I love Wilhelm Reich very much. He is the man who transformed the whole face of psychoanalysis – by getting involved with the patient. He discarded the couch, he discarded this detached aloofness. He is a far greater revolutionary than Sigmund Freud. Sigmund Freud remained traditional, he was really afraid of his own repressions.
If you are not afraid of your own repressions, you can help tremendously. If you are not afraid of your own unconscious – if you have solved your problems a little bit – you can help greatly by getting involved in the world of the patient, by becoming a participant rather than remaining just an observer.
In fact, because psychoanalysts have their own problems, sometimes even more than the patient himself, one can understand Sigmund Freud’s fear. As far as I am concerned, I would like to make a categorical statement about it: unless a person is really awakened, enlightened, he cannot be a real, authentic therapist. Only a buddha can be a real therapist because he has no problems left. He can merge and melt into the patient. In fact, for him the patient is not the patient at all. That’s the difference between the relationship that exists between a patient and his therapist, and the relationship that exists between a disciple and a master. The disciple is not a patient; the disciple is a beloved, a loved one. The master is not just an observer, he has become a participant. They have lost their separate entities, they have become one, and that oneness helps.
Hugging is only a gesture of oneness – even the gesture helps. You are right. You ask, “Why is hugging such an incredibly effective therapeutic tool?” It is, and it is only a gesture. If it is true – not only a gesture but your heart is also in it – it can be a magical tool, it can be a miracle. It can transform the whole situation instantly.
A few things have to be understood about it. The idea that the child dies and then he becomes an adolescent; then the adolescent dies and he becomes a young man; then the young man dies and he becomes a middle-aged man; and so on and so forth – is wrong. The child never dies – nothing ever dies. The child is there, is always there, wrapped in other experiences – wrapped in adolescence, then by youth, then by middle age, then by old age – but the child is always there.
You are just like an onion, layers upon layers, but if you peel the onion, soon you will find fresher layers inside. Go on deeper and you will find fresher and fresher layers. The same is true about man. If you go deep into him you will always find the innocent child – and to contact that innocent child is therapeutic.
Hugging gives you an immediate contact with the child. If you hug somebody with warmth, love – if it is not just an impotent gesture, if it is meaningful, significant, true, if your heart is flowing through it – immediately you come into contact with the child, with the innocent child. And the innocent child, surfacing even for a single moment, makes a tremendous difference because the innocence of the child is always healthy and whole; it is uncorrupted. You have reached the innermost core of the person where no corruption has ever entered; you have reached the virgin core. Just making the virgin core throb again with life is enough – you have started, triggered, a process of healing.
Hence all the religions have used this phenomenon in different ways. Whenever Jesus prays to God he always calls him Abba, Christians have translated it as “God the Father.” That translation is not right, it is very inaccurate – in a way literally true, but the metaphor has changed. Abba can only be translated as daddy not as father. Father seems cold. Just repeat the word father and it seems so distant. “God the Father” looks like an institution! The father is really an institution, it is not a natural phenomenon. The mother is natural, the father is only the creation of a certain society. There have been societies where the father never existed.
The word uncle is far older than the word father. In a matriarchal society, people knew about the mother, but because marriage had not yet come into existence, no child knew about the father. So all the people who had been the lovers of the mother – one of them must have been the father but that was not known – so all the people who could have been the lovers were known as uncles.
In the Talmud, the Jewish God says, “Remember, I am not nice, I am not your uncle!” The uncle is always nice, the father almost never. It is very difficult to be friendly with the father; it is very easy to be friendly with the uncle. I would rather say it is better to call him “God the Uncle” than to call him “God the Father.” It is closer, nicer, more friendly. But to call him Abba is the best. Jesus is giving him a name which creates intimacy.
When you call God, Abba – Daddy – you are saying, “I am just a child. Take care of me, don’t ignore me. I cannot live without you – you are my life. Your love is my very nourishment.”
All the religions have used the idea that unless a man becomes a child again he cannot be truly religious. To be a child means to be innocent, means to be full of wonder, means to be full of awe. For the child everything is a mystery – everything. He has no answers, he has only questions. He is immensely interested in knowing, he is open. The moment you have an answer you become closed, to that extent. If you have all the answers for all the questions then you are absolutely closed, then you are not open. Your inquiry is finished, and with the inquiry finished you are dead.
A real being is always inquiring, he is always on a pilgrimage. He remains always an agnostic. All children are agnostics, neither theists nor atheists, nor Hindus nor Mohammedans, nor Catholics nor Protestants. They are simply innocent. They don’t believe in anything but they are ready to inquire, to investigate – and the inquiring heart is a healthy heart. When you are loaded with beliefs you are ill.
The Christian is ill, the Hindu is ill, the Jaina is ill – ill because they are prejudiced, ill because without seeing, they have believed, ill because they are behaving stupidly. How can you believe in something that you have not known? When you know something, there is no need to believe at all, so belief in any case is ridiculous. Either you know or you don’t know. If you know, there is no need to believe; if you don’t know, how can you believe? So belief is only for the mediocre, the stupid, the idiots. And no child is an idiot. Every child is so fresh, so alive, so full of zest that his very aliveness makes him healthy.
If you can touch the child in the patient in any way – and hugging is simply one of the most important ways.
Because I have allowed my sannyasins to hug and kiss, I am condemned all over the country for telling my people to be indulgent. If this is indulgence, then let it be indulgence! This is not indulgence at all; there is something more in it. I am telling you to be loving, and just sitting with somebody and telling him again and again, “I love you,” is not enough. At least hold the hand! Make it a reality – hug the person.

A very shy Englishman – and he must be very shy, otherwise just to be an Englishman is enough; there is no need to use the adjective shy – they are all shy! They are the most perfect gentlemen in the world. And, of course, in the same proportion they are dead too. Who has ever heard of a gentleman who is alive? If you are alive you are a man – why gentle? For what? Corpses are always gentle: they cannot do any harm, and they look so polite, so humble.
This shy gentleman was seeing a young woman for months. One full-moon night they were sitting together on the porch, looking into the garden, and beyond the garden the moon was rising. And the shy Englishman gathered courage; it must have been a real, great mighty effort. My own feeling is it must have been because of the moon; the moon drives people crazy, hence the word lunatic. Lunatic means “struck by the moon.” Lunatic comes from lunar, the moon. Moonstruck. He must have gone lunatic.
He asked the lady, “Can I… Can I kiss you?”
And the lady was really getting tired, so she said, “What do you think? I’m waiting here for a bus?”

When you love a person just verbal expressions are not enough, words are not enough, something more substantial is needed, words are only abstract. You have to do something. Hold the hand, hug the person, kiss the person, embrace the person. It is going to help you both – if you can melt in the hug you will both become younger again, fresher, livelier. And that’s the whole process of healing.
Analysis is the way of the mind, hugging is the way of the heart. The mind is the cause of all diseases, and the heart is the source of all healing.

The second question:
Osho,
I have a lot of fantasies, especially sexual ones. Even though I see how they are taking me away from life here and now, I let myself be dominated by them. According to astrology, a Scorpio has especially strong sexual desires. I am a Scorpio.
Have my fantasies anything to do with that? I would like to drop them because they make it difficult for me to relax and I think they are a large part of my prison. Could you please indicate a way?
Jane Muller, it simply shows you are a really religious person. Such great problems arise only for religious people. These are good signs. Having sexual fantasies is an indication that you are reaching toward a higher plane of spirituality. It happens only on higher planes of spirituality. Ordinary mortals don’t have such things. They may have sex, but they don’t have sexual fantasies. Sex in the genitals is perfectly good – but in the head, everything becomes topsy-turvy.
Religious people have been doing that for centuries. It is a kind of shirshasan – headstand. They stand on their heads so the sexual energy starts going to their heads, just because of gravitation. Either physically they do the headstand, or psychologically. But remember, everything belonging to its own center is healthy; whenever it starts entering another center, the territory of another center, you go insane.
The so-called religious people went insane. They created a whole insane humanity – and once you are trapped in any insanity you will start finding many things. Because of your prejudices you will not be able to see the real cause. Your prejudices will show you some cause which is not the real one and you will start fighting with that cause. The real cause remains somewhere else.
You say, “…and I think they are a large part of my prison.” They have nothing to do with your prison. Your condemnation of sex creates the prison. It is your condemnation, not your sexual energies.
You say, “Even though I see how they are taking me away from life here and now…” They are not taking you away from life. In fact, your so-called spirituality – heaven, there, far away above the clouds; and God the Father sitting on a golden throne, always looking at you like a Peeping Tom… Wherever you go, even in your bathroom, he never leaves you alone, he is always looking through the keyhole. What are you doing, what is Jane Muller doing? And not only in your bathroom, he has a hole in your head too, a small window, and he goes on looking in your head: what you are thinking, what you are doing. He is constantly after you.
This idea of God, this idea of a heaven somewhere else, this idea of attaining immortality by overpowering, controlling your sexuality, is what is taking you away from life here and now. It is not sexuality. In fact, if a fantasy is moving in your head, that is your here and now – enjoy it! But you push it aside, you say, “No, I want to go to heaven. I want to be respected as a saint.” You are pushing away your herenow.
Your fantasy is your reality. That’s what you are, that’s where you are at. Enjoy it. What is wrong with it? Just a private TV! What is wrong with it? Make it a little more colorful, make it a little more juicy. Paint it, be a little more artistic about it, be creative. It is not your problem. Your problem is some phony kind of spirituality that is dominating you – and then one has to find these stupid rationalizations.
You say, “According to astrology, a Scorpio has especially strong sexual desires. I am a Scorpio.” Now, don’t blame poor Scorpio. Stars have nothing to do with you – they have their own problems. They are having fantasies of female stars! I know one thing for certain: no star is so stupid to say, “Jane Muller is the cause of my trouble.” This is just a rationalization – avoid such rationalizations.

A parrot kept raiding the henhouse to mount the hens. The result was chickens with crooked beaks. To put a stop to this, the farmer electrified the middle rung of the roost ladder.
The next morning the parrot came again, climbed on the ladder and boasted, “Tra-la-la, tra-la-lo, get ready girls, here we go!”
When he got to the middle rung the shock almost knocked him over, causing him to cry, “Wowww! I am really in top shape today!”

Don’t be a parrot! If you are having sexual fantasies it simply shows you are a human being – not a Scorpio!
Some fool has calculated – must be a fool otherwise who is bothered about such nonsense? – that every man has a sexual fantasy arising in his head every three seconds, and a woman every six seconds. Women are far more spiritual, doubly spiritual!
Maybe that is one of the problems between men and women. Women all know that these men are sinners, continuously thinking of women. And all women have that attitude of holier-than-thou, particularly wives; they don’t show any interest. They also have sexual fantasies, but the gap is there. So whenever the husband says, “What about it today?” immediately the wife says, “Enough is enough! Today it is impossible. The servant has not turned up, the electricity has gone, my daughter is not back yet, it is too late in the night, and moreover I am having a great headache.” This is spirituality. Deep down she knows that this is a way of getting the upper hand, and he will come crawling with his tail between his legs – he will come crawling. And why miss an opportunity if you can pretend to be spiritual?
You are just a human being.

Two Martians arrive by night on earth. They land their flying saucer in a petrol station. Very cautiously they slither out of their spaceship and look at the row of petrol pumps.
“Well,” whispers one, “look at the pricks of these earthmen – they are much bigger than ours!”
“That’s true,” replied the second, “but I wonder why they stick them in their ears when they go to sleep!”

Are you having these kind of fantasies? Then you may be a Scorpio! Otherwise why not just be a human being? Why bring poor astrology in? Nothing is wrong in having sexual fantasies – perfectly good, poetic. If you fight, they will come more; if you push them away, they will rebound. If you accept them, if you just watch them, they will start evaporating.
Yes, one can transcend sex, but not by fighting. Fighting only makes the problem more complicated. It is only by witnessing that transcendence happens, and it is better to start witnessing right now.
Jane Muller, I don’t know how old you are, but the older you get, the more and more fantasies will be coming; and the older you get, less and less is the possibility of becoming a witness. The younger you are the better because the fantasies are also great – worth witnessing! When you become older they become dirty, not worth witnessing at all. They also become old, mind you. They are just like skeletons. When you are younger your fantasies are younger, and you also have enough energy to be a witness. When you are older your energy also starts getting low – and witnessing needs energy.
If you understand the whole process of witnessing, it is simple. The first requirement is not to have this antagonistic, religious idea; otherwise you can never be a witness. You are already fighting, how can you witness? Witnessing needs a non-judgmental awareness – nothing is good, nothing is bad – whatsoever is, is, and you have to see it. It is moving on the screen of the mind and you are just viewing it. When you become older you may fall asleep while you are viewing it, you may not have enough energy to witness. You will not have enough energy even to put your prejudices aside. You may not have enough energy to cleanse yourself of all kinds of nonsense that others have loaded you with.
Religious people, in their dying moment – the last moment – are full of sexual fantasies and nothing else. That’s what they have been repressing their whole life. When they were alive they could repress it, they were sitting on top of it; but when they are dying, their energy evaporates, and the repressed snake uncoils.

A famous Soviet academic, Petya, is dying, and his friend and colleague, Vasya, comes to his bedside to pay his last respects to this great old man. He finds Petya lying there with closed eyes and a sad look on his face.
Slowly he opens his eyes, looks at his friend, and then says, “Vasya, look at all those books on that wall over there – just look at them.”
“Yes, Petya,” replies his friend. “Those are your most famous works. Everyone knows what an important and…”
“Yes, yes, yes!” interrupts Petya. “But look over there at that wall – you see all those books?”
“Yes, my dear friend. Those are the translations of your works into all the languages of the…”
“Yes, but that is not the point. Look over there – do you see those books?”
“But of course. Those are the works of your students and followers. We all admire…”
“No, but you don’t understand, Vasya!” exclaims Petya. “Look, do you remember when we were students, and we were sent off to work on the collective farm?”
“Of course I remember, my friend. How could I forget?”
“And do you remember, Vasya, walking down that country road one hot summer’s day?”
“Yes, Petya, yes I do.”
“And do you remember, we passed that cornfield, and there, sitting on the top of one of the haystacks, was that pretty young Masha?”
“Yes, yes, Petya, I do! You liked her, I remember!”
“Yes,” says Petya, sinking back onto his pillow with a blissful smile on his face. “You know what I did, Vasya? I climbed up on top of the haystack and we were really starting to have a bloody good time. But you know, my friend, those bloody haystacks – just when you are really getting somewhere, whoosh! – they give way under you. I did everything I could, but every time that bloody haystack… So you see, I have just been thinking, Vasya” – Petya looked round the room – “how it would have been if we had had all these books, these bloody books, underneath us!”

An old, dying academic – at the last moment, what is he thinking about?
Jane Muller, there is still time. Don’t fight with your sexual fantasies; stop fighting. Don’t call them your prison – they are not.
You say, “Have my fantasies anything to do with that? I would like to drop them…” That’s why you are creating them; the very idea of dropping them is the cause. Drop this idea. If you want to drop anything, drop this idea. “…because they make it difficult for me to relax…” You are talking simple nonsense. Who has ever heard that sexual fantasies prevent people from relaxing? In fact, that is the only way people do relax. That’s a way of relaxing. Actual sex is also a way of natural relief.
Have you ever heard of any man or woman dying from heart failure while making love? It has not happened yet. There is not a single exception in the whole of medical history. People have died in all kinds of conditions – jogging they have died, sitting doing nothing, meditating, they have died. Doing yoga postures, standing on their head they have died, praying they have died, but never making love.
It is great exercise – it is almost like jogging. Your heart beats faster, your breathing goes berserk, you are perspiring, your blood circulates faster, your whole body is throbbing, tingling. You are in a state of madness. It is a temporary madness, but immensely relaxing. You come to a peak of madness that you call orgasm, you come to a moment of great, tense climax – and the relaxation.
Now all the heart specialists in the world are advising their patients to make love if they want to survive. For the heart it is good, it relaxes. And sexual fantasies are also not in any way anti-relaxation.
What is making you tense, Jane Muller, is your antagonism. You are in a double bind. The sexual fantasies are there and they will remain there because you want to drop them – and you don’t know how to go beyond them, you simply want to drop them. You cannot drop them that simply; you have to learn the whole art of witnessing. You can go beyond, but you cannot drop them. Of course, when you have gone beyond they are dropped, but you never actually dropped them; you simply transcended, you surpassed.
Without knowing the art of surpassing you are trying to drop them – that, and the very effort of dropping them, is making you tense. And still they are there; the more you try to drop them, the more they are there. Naturally you feel frustrated, you feel a failure, you feel guilty, and that guilt creates tension. It has nothing to do with your sexual fantasies. Relaxation and sexual fantasies are not related at all; and if they are related, sexual fantasies help people to relax.
But if you are religious then the problem arises. It is your religiousness that is creating the whole trouble for you. Drop this religiousness. Learn the art of witnessing; that is the science of transcendence. Once you have transcended you will know that those sexual energies are not thrown away, but they are transformed. The same energies have become your ecstasies. The same energies are now giving a perfume. Before they were stinking, now they are creating a perfume, a fragrance.
You ask me, “Could you please indicate a way?” If you want to drop them, I cannot indicate a way, but if you want to transcend them I can certainly indicate a way. Learn to watch – and watch blissfully. Watch joyously. Nothing is wrong in them, nothing at all. It is natural. It is your biology, it is your chemistry, it is your physiology, it is your psychology. But by watching you go beyond your physiology, beyond your biology, beyond your chemistry, beyond your psychology. You simply become a watcher, a witness. That witnessing makes you centered in your spirituality and that is the transcendence.

The last question:
Osho,
I have heard you say that parrots are better than pundits. I have also heard you praise the ignorant children more than the great knowledgeable people. I cannot understand this at all. Are you not exaggerating?
Pundit Lajjashankar Jha, do you see? You cannot understand even such a simple thing. Everybody understands it here except Pundit Lajjashankar Jha! I am not exaggerating. Truth cannot be exaggerated, it is impossible. Even if you want to, you cannot do it. Only lies can be exaggerated – they have to be exaggerated. Truth is so vast, there is no way to exaggerate it, but I can illustrate it.

The great scholarly doctor who had published many research papers – must have been something like my physician, Devaraj – had just finished his first delivery.
“Not bad,” said the old nurse who was helping him. “But it is the baby you should smack on the bottom, not the mother.”

Pundit Lajjashankar Jha, did you hear about the German professor of philosophy who had used up all of his sick days? He called in to say he was dead.

At an auction sale a brahmin pundit was trying to buy a parrot. Every time he bid, someone bid higher. Finally the auctioneer declared the bird his, but for a very high sum.
“Can he talk?” he asked the auctioneer.
“And how!” screamed the parrot. “Who do you think pushed the price up so high?”

“Are these the only two parrots you have for sale?” asked the rabbi, who used to speak only in the holy language, Hebrew, and had to keep an interpreter always with him.
“At the moment, sir, yes,” said the shopkeeper.
“Then I will take the one on the right,” said the rabbi.
“Unfortunately, sir, it is not that easy. You will have to take them both.”
“Why is that?” asked the rabbi.
“Because that one only speaks Greek, the other is his translator.”

Pundit Lajjashankar Jha, knowledgeability is not against ignorance, it is in fact a cover-up for ignorance. Knowledgeability is not wisdom. Knowledgeability is like a blind man knowing all about light, but still he remains blind. Even if you know everything about light and you don’t have a light in the room, your room remains dark.
Wisdom is like light. Whether you know anything about light or not does not matter, what matters is light.
That’s why I praise children more. At least they are simply ignorant; their ignorance has a certain innocence in it. The knowledgeable person is ignorant and cunning. He is ignorant, but hiding it – he is a hypocrite. He is cheating others and maybe cheating himself too. The child is ignorant because he is innocent, and from ignorance there is a way toward wisdom. But there is no way from knowledge. The knowledgeable person will first have to become ignorant, only then can he move toward wisdom.
Ignorance is like a crossroad – you can go in the direction of knowledge, but it never leads toward wisdom. From knowledgeability there is no way to wisdom. You will have to come back to the crossroad from where another direction opens, another dimension, that of wisdom.
Hence Jesus says, “Unless you are like small children you will not enter my kingdom of God.” And Socrates said in his ripe old age, “I know only one thing, that I know nothing.” The Upanishads say, “The person who says ‘I know,’ knows nothing, and the person who says ‘I don’t know,’ knows it.”
I certainly praise the children because I would like you to have again the same kind of innocence that children have. I would like you to be born again, to be twice born – to have a second childhood is the beginning of wisdom.
Just watch the small children – their perceptiveness, their clarity, their sensitiveness, their awareness, their intelligence – and then you will not call them just “ignorant.” Their ignorance is pregnant with wisdom, and the knowledgeable person is very dry, dead; he is not pregnant. Knowledge is sterile.

The schoolteacher was angry with little Johnny. “Your essay about ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s!” she shouted.
“Please, Miss, it is the same dog. What can I do?”

A young female biology teacher, wearing a rose in the plunging neckline of her dress, asks her class, “How are roses nourished?”
Little Max calls out, “With milk, Miss.”
The teacher cuffs his head and says, “Don’t be fresh! Roses are nourished with water.”
In tears, Max sobs, “I am sorry, Miss. I did not know their stems were so long!”

The teacher of a class of ten-year-olds is too shy to conduct the sex-education class and so she asks her class to make this a homework project.
Little Eddy asks his father, who mumbles something about a stork. His grandmother says he came from a cabbage patch. His great-grandmother blushes and whispers that children come from the great ocean of existence.
The next day Eddy gets called first to report on his project. He says, “I am afraid there is something wrong in my family. Apparently, nobody has had a good fuck for three generations!”

Enough for today.